Today for the first time in my life, I gave up on a project… It feels terribly awful! I'd started this project almost two years ago, in January 2012 and needless to say, I spent lots and lots and lots of time on it... but finally nothing worked well... I tried several protocols and did absolutely my best, but... finally nothing worked on well... Today as I was quite unhappy about it, I talked to my supervisor and eventually we decided to quit on this project... I feel sad... such a huge failure...
What makes me feel that terrible, is the amount of “time” that I have spent on this slack project! Almost two years! Almost two fucking years! OMG… I cannot believe that I spent such a long time on this project, and finally got nothing… My supervisor believes that the last time I was on the right track, but… sigh… I gave up on it to save some time to work better on my other projects…
I really do believe that I could get some results if I had decided to carry on, but… it’s just about the “TIME”…
It’s not one of those times that you could present your negative results as some results! It’s a complete different story, so PLEASE don’t say such a thing to make me feel better! Not only it won’t cheer me up, but it might drive me mad! That’s JUST PURE nonsense! There is not a bright side here at all! I haven’t learnt anything extra from this work, I cannot present my negative results anywhere, and I have wasted such a long time on it. I’m quite upset.
BTW I don’t need any sympathy or stuff! I just wanted to write down the story to release some of the pressure on me, and now I’m heading off to the gym to work out hard. I’ll be cheerful again when I’m back. I just need some time!
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